In the Footsteps of WC Fields

Man having tooth extracted by dentist with a skunk curled up by the dentist's chair.

If I could write all day...

U.S. - July 13, 2024

Neal Van Reesch

If I could write all day

Why, I’d write a book!

Telling the whole world about Neal Van Reesch!

The world is a fine place

As long as you are on drugs, or swimming in the sea, you see.

I’d write jokes and poems and remembrances of things past,

Heck, I’d write about pests and the pest house

Cockroaches, skunks, bats, and that one mouse that just got away.

A man may say anything,

And certainly it is heartfelt truth

But a man may say anything

When threatened

With the integrity of his tooth.

So, friends may I invite you

To my humble room where I can play backgammon and bet on the livened

Goings on of the dying salmon

Swimming upstream in a death

Struggle?

Art Entertainment Fiction Humor Poetry

Recently trimmed lawn around a cemetery monument.

Last Haircut?

U.S. - August 29, 2024 Neal Van Reesch I sat down into a cozy chair and removed my glassesShe put a cape around me and we began."How you want your hair cut?"I said as silently as possible.I was in the foggy netherworldBetween comfortAnd it..

Looking down on a garden with garden statues in it.

Be true to your teeth

U.S. - July 27, 2024 Neal Van Reesch I’d say heckI was about five years old. I said something random to my my bud About Perhaps baseball Or the cotton trees blowing off their cotton I commented to my bud on the world You see. He said ..

A staple gun in its case.

I had gigantism of the feet

U.S. - July 26, 2024 Neal Van Reesch I had gigantism of the feet. I was Bigfoot, I guess. They say Giant feet Giant shoes.The children called me "Giant Shoes." That was my cognomen. Giant Shoes. Giant Steps, No that wasn’t me ..

A mirror in a woodworker's shop with a bench reflected within it.

I ever tell you about that time I was with Lewis...

U.S. - July 20, 2024 Neal Van Reesch I ever tell you about that time I was with LewisAnd we were fishingOn Lake Erie?Gee it was hot!"Phooey! On this heat," I says to Lewis!I wiped my brow with a ragLewis had a blue bandana tied on his ba..

Hand squeezing globe.

I was beating this kid at arm wrestling...

U.S. - July 13, 2024 Neal Van Reesch I was beating this kid at arm wrestling.I was teasing him, he was giving it his allAnd shootIt got a little close!Then I powered downAnd really gave this nine-year old boy the what for:"Grow up you si..

Ukulele.

Kids are ferocious bastards...

U.S. - July 6, 2024 Neal Van Reesch Kids are ferocious bastards.This kid was poking my belly.Saying your fat.No kiddingYou little bum.Dog bites man.He’s like what’s that mean?I’m likeRead a paper you dingbat!I was likeYou wanna pl..

Work bench

Good lord was I a funny bastard!

U.S. - June 30, 2024 Neal Van Reesch Good lord was I a funny bastard!Even when gloom was upon me!Even when I was in the southern reaches where no sun could find purchase.We call that a lakeAnd not a pond.AnywayI found myself trapped in a..

Pillar inscribed "You Water And Fate"

You know? I was thinking about my life...

U.S. - June 27, 2024 Neal Van Reesch You know?I was thinking about my life...Heck, must of beenYesterday?The day before?Anyway...Some guy was saying to me:How you know so much stuff about so many things?I shrugged.God only knows.And beli..

Photo of tamales with carving of sperm whale in upper left corner.

Friend? May I bend your ear?

U.S. - June 27, 2024 Neal Van Reesch Friend? May I bend your ear? You look like you might need a plate of tamales. It will be just a while. They’ll need to steam, you see, for about 30 minutes. Why don’t you sit down and talk while o..

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